Zegarelli’s article is a meditation on mistaken trust and modern alienation. His ethos reminds us that relational depth is rare and must be discerned—not assumed. His pedagogy uses strategic clarity, philosophical triangulation, and narrative control to push the reader beyond fable into self-examination. Takeaway: Being surrounded by friendliness does not equate to being surrounded by friendship. Understanding the difference—and acting accordingly—is not only wisdom, but survival. [AI Review]
“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” ~ Leonardo da Vinci (Adopted by Steve Jobs)
A Hare was very popular in the society of Beasts.
One day, she was chased by Hounds. Expecting some help from her friends, she beckoned to the Horse. But, he was busy on the work of his Master, saying, “I am sure there are many others who will be glad to assist.”
Then, she asked, in turn, the Bull, the Goat and the Calf, each of whom had some excuse. By this time the Hounds were quite near, and, without any assistance from others, the Hare escaped only by great luck.
Moral of the Story: Too many friends, too few friends. No friendship is free, as such. Being friendly is not necessarily being friends.
Introduction – The Essential Aesop – Epilogue
Why We Loved It: Aesop reminds us that general social friendliness is a type of courtesy, such that we are “friendly” with (or friendly to) many. But, to be a friend to a particular person (such as it is customarily called a “true friend”) is a type of commitment, a type of bonding, a type of loyalty, with an implied pledge of mutual sacrifice.
Each of us is naturally self-interested, survival first, with priorities that tend to satisfy those self-interests. Someone who is “perfect” may be sacrificial to the common good or another beneficiary, but reality still makes it difficult—and probably impossible—to be perfect for every individual good. This is as true by us as it is true for us.
Aesop taught us about the types of betrayals that occur by natural human self-interest in The Two Travelers and the Purse and The Bear and the Two Travelers. Here, this fable exposes the “lack of duty by failure of binding proximity.” Superficial courtesy is not a bad thing, but it is not necessarily a tie that binds true.
Aesop reminds us of the foolishness—and the consequences—of mistaking those with whom we are friendly for those with whom we are friends.
Facebook “friends” notwithstanding.
Wisdom requires a careful assessment of each person who would self-sacrifice for each of our own good, and perhaps, more importantly, to what extent each of us would reciprocate. For that is friendship. Mutual sacrifice by love or by duty—same destination, different path. Friends bind true with the honor, the privilege, and the duty to share life, for better or worse.
Aesop chooses the Hare—being prey—purposefully, so that the lesson is not diverted to a failure of integrity by cowardice. The Hare is naturally prey. Therefore, the focus of the teaching is directed to the bonds that the Hare expects, but do not exist.
Aesop does not tell us why the Hare thought she had so many friends, although Aesop does identify a “society of Beasts” implying a subset bonding by grouping categorization. But, even so, Aesop tests the integrity of that structure as well. Sometimes the courtesies are a sacrifice from power and sometimes they are an excuse to power. A queen is courteous by sacrifice, and jester is courteous to survive. Thus the adage, “Quidam curiales sunt ad misericordiam praebendam, quidam curiales sunt ad eam accipiendam.” (“Some are courteous to give mercy, and some are courteous to receive it.”)
In this fable, the Hare was friendly with everyone, but friends with no one. The Hare’s foolishness is not in the absence of having friendships, but, rather, in the mistaking that she actually had friendships. Whether having friends is wise or foolish usually tends to depend upon the context, but a failure to understand the reality of it always tends to be foolish. Aesop even adds that the Hare was saved, not by her legs, but by luck, implying her vulnerability where hope in friends was her last resort. Alas, foolish Hare, in this case, it’s not your legs that will save you, but rather your wisdom:
Being friendly and being friends are not the same thing.
“When friendship is settled, you must trust; before friendship is formed, you must pass judgment. Those persons who put the last first, and the first last, confound their duties.” Seneca the Younger, On True and False Friendship, Letter III
“Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel; But do not dull thy palm with entertainment Of each new-hatch’d, unfledged comrade.” William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act 1, Sc. 3
“But little do men perceive what solitude is, and how far it extendeth. For a crowd is not company, and faces are but a gallery of pictures, and talk but a tinkling cymbal, where there is no love. ‘Magna civitas, magna solitudo.’” [“A great city is a great solitude,” from Erasmus, Adages]. Francis Bacon, The Essays
“And a youth said, Speak to us of Friendship.
“And he answered, saying: Your friend is your needs answered. He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving. And he is your board and your fireside. For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.
“When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the “nay” in your own mind, nor do you withhold the “ay.” And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart; For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.
“When you part from your friend, you grieve not; For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain. And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit. For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.
“And let your best be for your friend. If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also. For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill? Seek him always with hours to live. For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
“And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.”
“Quidam curiales sunt ad misericordiam praebendam, quidam curiales sunt ad eam accipiendam.” (“Some are courteous to give mercy, and some are courteous to receive it.”) ~ grz
High Noon [MUID193X] – There’s always an available excuse.
ChatGPT Review
Gregg Zegarelli’s The Hare with Many Friends fable (#84 in The Essential Aesop – Back to Basics Abridgment Series) delivers a subtle but powerful critique of modern superficiality in relationships. His pedagogy is centered not merely on moralizing, but on exposing the natural consequences of misconstrued assumptions—especially the belief that friendliness equates to loyalty.
🧠 Zegarelli’s Ethos (Underlying Philosophical Values)
Zegarelli consistently writes with a moral-realist orientation—that is, values exist, but they are tested in reality, not imagined through idealism. His core ethos in this piece includes:
1. Natural Law of Self-Interest
“Each of us is naturally self-interested, survival first…”
This echoes both classical and modern philosophy (e.g., Hobbes, Darwin, and evolutionary psychology). Loyalty, Zegarelli implies, is not automatic or universal—it must be earned, bounded, and tested.
2. Binding Proximity Doctrine
“…lack of duty by failure of binding proximity.”
Here, he develops a key element of his social philosophy: duty is not owed to all, only to those with whom we have a proximate, reciprocal bond—either by love or by duty. This mirrors his broader writings on relational obligations, such as in “The Two Travelers and the Purse” or “The Bear and the Two Travelers.”
3. False Equivalence as Cognitive Error
Mistaking friendliness for friendship is not just naive, it is an epistemological mistake—a category error. This tracks closely with Zegarelli’s broader commitment to linguistic clarity and conceptual rigor, seen across his work, such as in “They Entered the Building, but Only One Went In.”
📚 Zegarelli’s Pedagogy (Teaching Method)
Zegarelli’s teaching strategy reflects three pedagogical techniques:
A. Contextual Isolation
By making the Hare the prey—innocent and non-faulted for weakness—he isolates the lesson. We are not distracted by the Hare’s failings (cowardice, betrayal, etc.). The teaching point becomes: even the innocent suffer when reality is misunderstood.
B. Cross-Referential Socratic Framing
Zegarelli anchors the lesson within a philosophical framework:
- Seneca (judgment before trust),
- Shakespeare (test of loyalty),
- Bacon (loneliness amidst crowds),
- Gibran (friendship as a response to shared need).
By invoking these thinkers, he connects Aesop’s concrete moral with abstract philosophical wisdom, building a dialectic bridge for the reader.
C. Repetition Across Fables for Reinforcement
The theme of illusory relationships recurs:
- The Bear and the Two Travelers – abandonment in crisis.
- The Two Travelers and the Purse – opportunistic alliance.
- The Lion and the Mouse – mutual aid unexpected, but real.
Through this, Zegarelli’s Aesop series forms not isolated morals, but a pedagogical network of principles that reinforce each other. He teaches by constellation, not isolated star.
🧾 Conclusion
Zegarelli’s The Hare with Many Friends is a meditation on mistaken trust and modern alienation. His ethos reminds us that relational depth is rare and must be discerned—not assumed. His pedagogy uses strategic clarity, philosophical triangulation, and narrative control to push the reader beyond fable into self-examination.
📌 Key Takeaway: Being surrounded by friendliness does not equate to being surrounded by friendship. Understanding the difference—and acting accordingly—is not only wisdom, but survival.
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© 2013 Arnold Zegarelli and Gregg Zegarelli, Esq.
LinkedIn http://www.linkedin.com/pulse/true-friendship-being-friendly-v-friends-84-hare-zegarelli-esq-/
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