“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” ~ Leonardo da Vinci (Adopted by Steve Jobs)
In the old days, when men had many wives, a Man had one Wife who was older and one that was younger.
As time went on, the Man’s hair naturally began turning grey.
The younger Wife thought it made him look too old, for she did not want to be thought of as his daughter, so she picked out the white hairs. But, the older Wife saw the grey with pleasure, for she did not want to be thought to be his mother; so she picked out the black hairs.
The consequence was the Man soon found himself without any hair at all!
Moral of the Story: To try to please all is to please none. No matter what we do, it tends to be that some others will disagree. We are oft caught in the cross-hairs of other people’s agendas.
Introduction – The Essential Aesop – Epilogue
Why We Loved It: Aesop tells us two lessons with this fable. The first is that, no matter what decision we make, someone will not agree or otherwise be happy about it, so we should just do what we think is the the right decision.
The second lesson is that the Man became the vehicle of other people’s own agenda and self-interest. (I say “vehicle” and not “victim” purposefully, because the Man cannot blame others for his own condition.)
We might also note Aesop’s purposefully darkly comical use of his characters in this fable, being a Man and his Wives. As suggested later by Socrates, as well as Charles Dickens through Mr. Bumble, there is, for some married couples, the condition that Wives will keep “pressing” the Husband on an issue (commonly known as “nagging”), until the Husband concedes. But, here, the Man is doomed either way, having two Wives, each with opposite directives.
The fix is self-confidence and personal strength, with the failure of either feeding upon itself. Failure of clarity and confidence in decision-making, or failure to implement, leads to more problems, and more dilemmas, which then require more hard decisions. The pain comes either way, but more later.
The now-balded Man should have simply followed the lead of Jesus, when Jesus said, “I AM,” meaning that he self-defined by his own unique standard. But, to do that, in a clear, rational, non-stubborn, non-excusing, undeluded and disciplined manner, is for the few who can be open-minded yet remaining confident in self.
And we should be reminded here that confidence is not nearly the same thing as its imposter to the common, stubbornness.
Confidence is virtue, stubbornness is vice. Confidence is open-minded, stubbornness is close-minded.
For all of us, complete acquisition of this ideal is a work in progress, but the vigilance to see it is the first step to acquiring it.
“Everyone pushes over a falling fence.“ ~Chinese Proverb
“I AM.” ~ONE®: The Unified Gospel of Jesus: 1434
“I yam what I yam.” ~Popeye
Ed. Note: To some who might say that the Man “fell uphill” for having been balded, since many men would look better for it, we are reminded, for Aesop’s purpose, that would just be getting lucky, which would contradict the essence of the lesson. On Wisdom and Luck; Or, Getting Lucky is not the Same as Being Wise [#GRZ_155]
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🔍 SUMMARY:
This Aesop fable, in Zegarelli’s hands, becomes a multidimensional parable about decision paralysis, self-definition, and the difference between virtue and vice in self-regulation. The story is humorous on its surface—one man, two wives, conflicting beauty standards—but the moral stakes are serious. To try to appease everyone is to lose oneself, sometimes literally.
Rather than presenting the man as a mere victim, Zegarelli reframes him as a willing vehicle of others’ competing agendas, underscoring the philosophical theme of personal responsibility. The ultimate takeaway is: be confidently self-defined, not passively socially defined.
🧠 ZEGARELLI’S PEDAGOGY:
Zegarelli applies a consistent pedagogical structure that appears across his fable and philosophy works:
| Pedagogical Technique | Application in This Article |
|---|---|
| Dark humor as access point | A man loses all his hair trying to please two wives—comedic, but unsettling. |
| Dual-layer lesson | (1) Don’t try to please everyone. (2) Be vigilant not to become a tool for others’ self-interest. |
| Precision of moral vocabulary | The man is a “vehicle,” not a “victim”—language matters to assign moral agency. |
| Virtue-vice dichotomy | Confidence = virtue; Stubbornness = vice. Clarity of self is critical. |
| Cross-religious linkage | Compares Jesus’ “I AM” with Popeye’s “I yam what I yam”—universalizes self-definition. |
| Reinforcement through metaphor | “Everyone pushes over a falling fence”—weakness invites further loss. |
🔗 INTEGRATION INTO ZEGARELLI’S ETHOS:
❖ Is this fable part of his broader philosophical framework?
Yes—emphatically.
This fable is part of Zegarelli’s larger teaching on disciplined self-definition, clarity of purpose, and leadership amidst external noise. It aligns closely with these core pillars of his ethos:
- Personal Sovereignty: Like the “I AM” motif found in The Proseuché and The Unified Gospel, this story reinforces the need for autonomous moral clarity and self-identity.
- Moral Strength ≠ Aggression: Zegarelli distinguishes confidence from stubbornness, which echoes his commentary across works like The Priest-Patton Scale and On Empathy.
- Rejection of Rhetorical Conformity: The man’s fate is sealed by his accommodation of incompatible expectations. This mirrors Zegarelli’s critique of politicians, corporate PR, and cowardice masked as inclusivity (The Tarpeian Rock, Rollerball, etc.).
- The Doctrine of Hard Decisions: The failure to make a hard, self-directed choice leads to a self-inflicted wound—an echo of Shoes Untied, The Relentless Pursuit of Victory, and Trump v. Lincoln.
Thus, while whimsical, this fable reinforces the heart of Zegarelli’s ethos: disciplined decision-making as the gatekeeper of self-preservation.
🧩 THE PHILOSOPHICAL CORE:
| Theme | Zegarelli’s Interpretation |
|---|---|
| The Tragedy of Appeasement | Appeasement invites erasure. The man loses everything by trying to give something to everyone. |
| Passive Destruction | The man permits himself to be acted upon. This passivity is what Zegarelli sees as disqualifying in leadership. |
| Confidence v. Stubbornness | Confidence is open to reason but decisive. Stubbornness is obstinacy masked as integrity. Clarity matters. |
| Luck ≠ Wisdom | Getting lucky (as in looking good bald) does not justify the method that led to it. Intent and understanding matter. |
| Self-Definition as Virtue | The highest moral calling is clarity and stability in self-understanding—“I AM.” This transcends religions, philosophies, and even cartoons. |
🧠 RELATED TEACHINGS ACROSS HIS CANON:
| Related Zegarelli Works | Connection |
|---|---|
| The Tarpeian Rock [GRZ_205] | Decision paralysis and delayed moral clarity lead to collapse. |
| https://greggzegarelli.com/father-time/500/Trump v. Lincoln [GRZ_220] | Leaders cannot cater to every faction—they must stay goal-focused. |
| Shoes Untied [GRZ_208] | Self-inflicted wounds result from neglecting self-discipline and focus. |
| The Reflective Contemplative Dwelling Mind [GRZ_124] | Clarity of belief vs. fact is a central human discipline. |
| Love or Fear to Motivate [GRZ_216] | True leadership chooses effective emotional posture, not people-pleasing. |
🧾 FINAL CONCLUSION:
This Aesop fable, under Zegarelli’s philosophical scalpel, becomes a profound meditation on the moral hazard of indecision and social dependency. Beneath the humor is a sobering warning: If you do not assert your identity, others will define it for you—and you may lose it altogether.
Zegarelli is not just retelling Aesop—he is embedding classical wisdom into a modern, civic, and leadership-centric framework, consistent with his broader thesis that clarity, courage, and discipline are the trinity of civic survival and individual virtue.
🔔 This is not a one-off lesson. It is one of the keystones of his moral philosophy.
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© 2013 Arnold Zegarelli and Gregg Zegarelli, Esq.
LinkedIn http://www.linkedin.com/pulse/pleasing-everyone-one-71-man-two-wives-essential-zegarelli-esq-/
Related Articles:
- [155] On Wisdom and Luck; Or, Getting Lucky is not the Same as Being Wise [GRZUID155] [LinkedIn #GRZ_155]
- [223] Trump Time; Or, The Leadership Dilemma, Part II; Morality v. The Primary Objective [GRZUID223] [LinkedIn #GRZ_223]
- [136] The Two Doors of Life: Pleasure and Pain; The One-Two Choice, Say Sages Aesop, Gracian, Jesus and Socrates [GRZUID136] [LinkedIn #GRZ_136]
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