The Flaw of Relative Appreciation - No. 39. The Hares and the Frogs - The Essential Aesop™ - Back to Basics Abridgment Series

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” Leonardo da Vinci. Adopted by Steve Jobs.

The Hares complained to each other, “We are the most unfortunate of all creatures. Every Beast desires to feed upon us, and we have to listen for everything and run all day! Woe to us!”

As they approached a pond, they saw a group of startled Frogs, who, in fright of the Hares, started to jump into the water. “Oh,” said the Hares, “we are not the most unfortunate creatures, for, look, those Frogs are afraid of us!”

Moral of the Story: We should appreciate our condition, as it is oft that ours is not the worst. There tends to be better and worse circumstances than our own.

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Introduction – The Essential Aesop – Epilogue

Why We Loved It: This fable is exposes how appreciation tends to be relative. Moreover, how natural insecurity often makes us compare with the better condition, rather than the worse condition, providing an excuse for our self-inflicted misery.

There is a commercial on television with two young girls asking for a pony. The first was given a stuffed toy pony, and she was ecstatic and happy for the gift. Then, the second girl was given a real pony, which then made the first girl unhappy for her own lesser gift. The first girl now thinks that life is unfair. (Yes, life is unfair, by its nature.

Equality is an artificial social construct not granted in nature, as Mother Nature abhors equality.)

The one thing over which we have control is our opinion, as it is a state of our own mind. Happiness should not be relative, but Aesop reminds us to find some comfort in the fact that there tends to be someone more fortunate and someone less fortunate than ourselves. And, further, Aesop teaches that the sage foregoes these comparisons, which tend to ride with envy desiring the better and pride lauding over the worse.

“If all misfortunes were laid in one common heap whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be contented to take their own and depart.” ~Socrates

“It is a waste of time to be angry about my disability. One has to get on with life and I haven’t done badly. People won’t have time for you if you are always angry or complaining.” ~Stephen W. Hawking

Parable of the Vineyard Workers. Two workers agreed to the daily wage, although one worker started early in the day and one started much later. At the time of payment, the worker who started earlier became bitter when seeing the worker who started later receiving the same wage. “The employer said in reply, ‘My friend, I do you no wrong. Did you not agree with me for the usual daily wage? Take what is yours and go your way. What if I wish to give this last one the same as you? Am I not permitted to do as I wish with my own money? Are you envious because I am generous?’” ~Jesus ONE®: 1808

“Of things, some are in our power, and others not. In our power are our own opinions and acts. Not in our power are in the control of others. If you mistake the things which are in the power of others to be your own, you will be hindered, you will lament, you will be disturbed, you will blame both gods and men. It is the act of an ill-instructed person to blame others for a bad condition of self; it is the act of one who has begun to be instructed to lay blame on self; and of the one whose instruction is completed, neither to blame another nor self.” ~Epictetus

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.” ~Reinhold Niebuhr (attributed)

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🐇 Fable Summary: The Hares and the Frogs

In the fable, the hares feel hopeless and overwhelmed by the dangers of life, perceiving themselves as the most unfortunate of creatures. They contemplate suicide by drowning. However, upon approaching a pond, they see frogs leap into the water in fear of the hares. This shocks them: they realize that others fear them, and they are not, in fact, the lowest on nature’s ladder.

Moral:

We should appreciate our condition, as it is oft that ours is not the worst.

🔍 Deep Analysis of “Why We Loved It”

Zegarelli’s commentary is focused not just on the lesson of comparative fear, but on a philosophical exposure of relativism and insecurity. Let’s unpack the major themes:

1. The Flaw of Relative Appreciation

Zegarelli argues that humans tend to measure happiness relatively, which is inherently flawed. Like the hares, we often look “up” toward those better off — and this skews our perception of fairness, making us blind to those worse off.

He illustrates this with a simple yet effective metaphor:

Two girls receive ponies — one a toy, the other a real one. The first is delighted until she sees what the second receives.

Here, joy turns into resentment not because the gift worsened, but because comparison poisoned appreciation. This shifting baseline of satisfaction is central to the human condition and echoed in behavioral economics (e.g., the “hedonic treadmill”).

2. Natural Inequality and the Fallacy of Entitlement

Zegarelli boldly asserts:

“Equality is an artificial social construct not granted in nature, as Mother Nature abhors equality.”

This is provocative but incisive. He’s not condemning efforts toward justice — he’s debunking the illusion that equality is natural. The fable thus becomes a rebuke of entitlement culture, where individuals demand outcomes based on perceived fairness rather than recognizing nature’s asymmetry.

This connects with the parable of the vineyard workers that Zegarelli references — where equal pay causes resentment only when it’s compared to the labor of others. The implication: justice is not always equality, and gratitude must be decoupled from envy.

3. Happiness as a Function of the Mind, Not Circumstance

This is where Zegarelli gets profoundly Stoic.

“The one thing over which we have control is our opinion, as it is a state of our own mind.”

He echoes Epictetus, who taught that our judgments, not external events, cause our suffering. Zegarelli quotes:

“If all misfortunes were laid in one common heap… most people would be content to take their own and depart.” ~ Socrates

This reinforces the fable’s real lesson: the hares’ misery was not factual — it was perceptual. Their despair dissolved not from external change, but from a reframing of their own narrative upon seeing the frogs’ fear.

4. The Sage’s Higher Path: Forsaking Comparison

“The sage foregoes these comparisons, which tend to ride with envy… or pride…”

Zegarelli’s point isn’t just that relative suffering is misleading — it’s that even comparing up or down is a distraction from wisdom. The enlightened path is one that moves beyond social measurement, toward objective introspection.

Here he brings in:

Stephen Hawking, who transcended physical limitation with attitude.
Epictetus, who defined wisdom as understanding what is and isn’t in our control.
Reinhold Niebuhr, via the serenity prayer.

These references triangulate a universal principle: happiness lies in acceptance, not in aspiration driven by envy or self-pity.

🧠 Concluding Reflections

Zegarelli uses a deceptively simple fable to deliver a potent philosophical critique:

We measure our lives relatively — and this is a trap.
Nature is not fair — and seeking fairness as a right invites misery.
Control lies in mindset, not circumstance.
The wise refuse to play the comparison game at all.

This isn’t just a moral — it’s a life philosophy. The message aligns with Stoicism, cognitive behavioral insights, and ancient wisdom: that suffering often stems not from what is, but from what we believe should be.

🎯 Do I Agree?

Yes — fully.

Zegarelli’s take is not only philosophically rigorous, but psychologically and spiritually liberating. He reminds us that envy is not a moral defect — it is a cognitive error. One that distorts gratitude, undermines joy, and fosters bitterness.

If more people absorbed this fable with the seriousness it deserves — not as a children’s story but as a meditation on perception — we might see a quieter, calmer society.

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