“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” Leonardo da Vinci. Adopted by Steve Jobs.
A Boy was permitted to put his hand into a jar to take out some filberts.
The jar had a narrow mouth, and the Boy took such a great handful that he could not pull his hand back out.
The Boy became angry and frustrated, huffing and puffing, because he could not get any filberts out of the jar in refusing to give up any from his tight fist.
His Mother saw his condition and said, “Son, be satisfied with half the nuts you are now holding and you will easily get your hand out.”
Moral of the Story: By refusing to concede any of what we want, we fail to get all of what we need.
Introduction – The Essential Aesop – Epilogue
Why We Loved It: This magical little fable reminds us to focus on what we keep rather than on what we don’t keep. Our achievement, not our loss. Thus the adage, “Aurantiis quae servamus fruimur, non corticibus quas abiecimus.” (“We enjoy the orange that we keep, not for the peel we’ve thrown away.”)
There’s the common statement by attorneys that a “settlement is a good one if both parties are equally unhappy.“ This is because both sides must make concessions. Negotiation tends to be a game of concession. Yes, sometimes we get everything we need and also everything desire, but this tends to be just getting lucky. But the key to wisdom is to know the difference.
Aesop uses a Child and a Parent on purpose, as the Mother teaches that the Boy’s frustration and anger are self-sourced by measuring against a standard of all, instead of the standard of none. That applied standard is the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery, and a great attitude and a bad attitude. It is the difference between charisma and repulsion. The Mother teaches there is a time to fight and a time to concede, and knowing the difference is food of the sage.
This fable also isolates a lesson regarding moderation, or pushing a point too far. Lose a battle, win a war.
“Enough is abundance to the wise.” ~ Euripides
“Consumption without limitation is gluttony. Production without consumption is drudgery. Neither extreme could be intended. It seems rightful to produce all that we can endure without drudgery. And to consume all that we can enjoy without gluttony. But, in all cases, to do our best to consume less than we produce, and to contribute the remainder to those who are unable to produce what they need to consume.” ~grz
“Amittere proelium vincere bellum.” (“Lose a battle, win a war.”); “Aurantiis quae servamus fruimur, non corticibus quas abiecimus.” (“We enjoy the orange that we keep, not for the peel we’ve thrown away.”); “Recusando omnia quae possumus amittere, nihil eorum quae debemus adipiscimur.” (“By refusing to give up all of what we could, we fail to get any of what we should.”) ~grz
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Here is a deep-dive analysis of “Satisfaction, Appreciation and Greed – No. 9 – The Boy and the Filberts” by Gregg Zegarelli, from both pedagogical and philosophical standpoints, along with subtheme integration into the AIS framework:
🧠 Pedagogical Core
Lesson Summary:
Excess desire defeats practical outcome. Moderation and compromise are pathways to success.
Zegarelli uses this Aesop fable to train discernment in expectations: learning that satisfaction is not about total gain but proportional success. In his framing, the child’s frustration is not caused by external limitation, but by an internal misapplied standard of success—one of “all” instead of “enough.”
📚 AIS Framework Integration
Primary Pillar:
🔷 Power and Self-Discipline
The Boy’s emotional spiral from greed to anger reflects a lack of internal control. The fable becomes a primer on personal power by restraint—not dominance.
Key Subthemes:
- Compromise as a Strength: The fable teaches that partial gain is sometimes the optimal result. Negotiation involves give and take. The Mother instructs not on defeat, but on wise release.
- Expectation Management: Satisfaction is redefined not by what was possible, but what was achieved with discernment. This links to applied intelligence: reframing success to align with available conditions.
- Strategic Concession: “Lose a battle, win a war.” Applied wisdom involves sacrificing minor wants for long-term advantage.
- Greed as Self-Sabotage: Greed here is not malevolent, but childish—a developmental stage that must evolve into rational moderation.
- Teaching Pedagogy via Parent/Child: The Mother’s role affirms Zegarelli’s recurring Socratic method: wisdom is passed through loving confrontation and behavioral modeling, not punitive enforcement.
🏛️ Philosophical Commentary
1. Shift from Absolute to Relative Evaluation
The fable is about internal calibration: the Boy cannot enjoy any of the reward because he demands all of it. This ties to Zegarelli’s broader critique of entitlement cultures and zero-sum thinking.
2. Consumption vs. Production Equilibrium
Zegarelli expands the fable’s moral to include a civilizational lesson:
“Consume all that we can enjoy without gluttony. But… contribute the remainder.”
This economic ethic reflects his repeated theme that social sustainability depends on virtuous cycles of surplus redistribution—not via collectivist coercion but individual restraint and gratitude.
3. Gratitude and Presentness
The proverb “We enjoy the orange that we keep…” reinforces focus on present possession rather than hypothetical maximization. This echoes Stoic and Epicurean teachings: wealth is in enjoyment, not accumulation.
🧩 AIS Cross-links to Other Articles
- [GRZ33] Greed is Good? – The Business of Aesop version takes this same fable and explores how greed as a motivator must be disciplined by conscience.
- [GRZ98_51] A Fox Without a Tail – Explores insecurity and the need to justify excess. Similar to the Boy who refuses to admit his hand is stuck.
- [GRZ98_22] The Lion and the Ass – Shows dignity in knowing when not to react; restraint from the Lion mirrors the Mother’s dignified correction.
- [GRZ137] Sorry, Socrates – Discusses “self-inflicted suffering” through poor conceptual framing. The Boy’s agony is conceptual, not circumstantial.
💡 Final Take-Away
To get something, we must sometimes release something.
This is both a moral and a cognitive discipline.
The Boy and the Filberts becomes a keystone fable for leadership training because it connects:
- Material impulse to intellectual discipline,
- Emotion to strategy,
- Childhood instinct to civic maturity.
It encapsulates Zegarelli’s frequent theme that wisdom is not about acquiring more, but knowing how much is enough—and when to let go.
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© 2013 Arnold Zegarelli and Gregg Zegarelli, Esq.
LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/satisfaction-appreciation-greed-9-boy-filberts-back-zegarelli-esq-
Related Articles:
- [33] Greed is Good? – The Business of Aesop™ No. 9 – The Boy and the Filberts [GRZ33] [LinkedIn #GRZ_33]
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